I am a person for hire, and looking for a job is a freaking drag (can I get a yes ma’am?!). The amount of resumes fluttering around the netscape these days is baffling, and, quite frankly, a load of hogswash and tomfoolery. I’ve decided to take a stand and say HELL NO to flailing my body.doc around with millions of other job seekers.
Instead, I’ve decided to take the idea of “marketing myself” to its extreme limits and literally market myself like a product for purchase. That way, I can lure employers to me rather than twist and break and fold my body a hundred-times over to fit each of their individual job applications.
Since I am by no means a marketing expert, I’ve been making my way through the Online Marketing Foundations course on Lynda.com to sharpen my skills. For my first assignment, I created a business strategy and promptly tweeted it to the course instructor, Brad Batesole. Having received positive feedback I moved on to my latest challenge: developing a customer strategy:
Since it’s so early in the game, I’ve decided on my target audiences based partly on wishful thinking. I say “partly” because in an ideal world, all of my followers would be employers jumping at the bit to give me 6-figure salaries with 0-deductible health, vision, and dental benefits. On a more reasonable note, I’ll be happy to “fit the bill” at a respectable company, make my job seeking comrades laugh, and make charitable Mary Sues feel good about themselves.
How do you think I did? Let me know in the comments.
Stay tuned or hire me!